Breadsticks, Not Bombs
A casual Italian joint gets snared in a satirical conspiracy theory
I hope you all are enjoying episode 63 of sh!tpost with our guest Will Sommer. Next week’s episode will hopefully include some interviews from folks I meet at Netroots. I need to pack, so this one is going to be short and sweet.
You can get these newsletters in your inbox by giving me your email, and you can support these things with the blue button below:
Casual Italian Chain Restaurant Ensnared in Joke Conspiracy Theories
Fazoli’s is a casual Italian-American chain restaurant that my family and I enjoyed for different reasons. For my parents, it was a cheap-enough place to take the family for a night out in small-town Arkansas; for me, it was an opportunity to score a new toy during kids’ night. One time I got this piece of paper that, when unfolded, was a sad excuse for a Pokemon playing board. Good stuff, young me thought.
I have no memory of the food or whether it was good, but it doesn’t matter anyway because those bread sticks have been replaced with benzodiazepines. A pharmacy currently occupies the building that held the restaurant.
Anyway, Fazoli’s is receiving blame for the 9/11 terror attack, and pretty much every other conspiracy theory imagineable, now.
In recent weeks, Fazoli’s has been in the cross hairs of satirical versions of conspiracy theories genuinely believed by some Trump supporters online. The folks that started the bit are now stepping back because it was picked up by a couple of genuine QAnon believers who have made earnest efforts at folding spaghetti into their theories about satanic child sex dungeons, or whatever.
One of the accounts responsible for the inception of Fazoli’s truther movement, @fazolisfacts (display name: ‘fazolis did nothing wrong’), tells me that they and their friends had added the Italian chain’s Twitter account to group message rooms on the platform, “asking them for advice on a range of issues.” The burning questions included, among other things, asking for a timeline on the supposedly impending revaluation of the Iraqi Dinar. Some Trump supporters have been scammed out of their money; they’ve bought Dinars with hopes the currency will revalue and make them overnight millionaires.
“We were drunk and streaming a jackbox party pack game and just talking a lot about fazolis and ‘fazolis did 9/11’ organically came up. I immediately registered the domain,” the Twitter account @fazolisfacts tells me. The domain is FazolisDid911.com.
“It spiraled out of an innocent joke. Then some folks made some plausible arguments that Fazolis may not be an innocent brand,” @AmbJohnBolton told me via Twitter direct message. “We’re looking at documents and asking questions.”
It caught the attention of folks like Ken Klippenstein, who played along with the bit, and asked the restaurant about its donations to John Kasich.
Then, QAnon believers picked up the joke conspiracy theories in earnest.
“A consensus was reached to pull back on that stuff because it was starting to get sad, and also we didn’t want any psychos shooting up a fazolis,” @FazolisFacts said.
So for now, the Fazoli’s truther movement has withdrawn. Until the genuine psychos calm down, at least.
They say it's lonely at the top in whatever you do
You always gotta watch motherfuckers around you
Some Good Stuff
Day labor is for the dudes.
Belle Delphine has been selling water from her bathtub, and folks are buying it—you know, as a bit. And then drinking it—as a bit—or vaping it—as a bit, of course.
Not a bad idea, here.
G’Afternoon.
Every single morning.
We stan street butter dog.
